so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
