apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
cat food counts as protein by the way
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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