I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
