I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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