I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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