We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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