You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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