it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
