Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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