Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
