that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
