yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
