I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
