It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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