I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
