my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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