i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
