I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
