evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
