Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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