just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The feeling are messing with the penis
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
