Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
