the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize
