the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
