Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
