omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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