I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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