"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize