Where did you get a picture of my penis
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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