I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
