well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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