I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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