I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
