I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
