My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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