I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
