I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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