I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
bring money and cleavage
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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