she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
