Best friends brother. Beat that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
