Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
