It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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