at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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