I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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