Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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