i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
