Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
