I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
