first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize