There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
