The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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